Shoreline West II:

A totally different bike tour: cycletherapy

Warning: this is more about r-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-ships than

Bicycles.

What is your image of cycling tours? Long days in the saddle, gorgeous scenery, frisky headwinds that challenge, lots of friendly people and social opportunities, sand and bugs in your tent and the rare opportunity to eat junk food all day and wash it down with a sports drink. Yup, they are all of that and more. This pretty much describes my experience with the Shoreline West Tour I in 2004.

Lowell aka Skip Morgan, the owner of this site, had invited me out to Michigan to do the tour. We had been email pen pals for about 7 months and it was time we met. I had been very sick in June but trained up as best I could and completed the 8 day tour with some semblance of dignity. Yes, I walked up Killer Hill on day 3 but I wasn’t alone. I put in two 70 mile days and went out drinking beer at night. There was a lot of social interaction on the tour and I suspected some “hooking up” was in progress. Lowell, I learned was clueless about this aspect of tour life although a lot of ladies were checking him out. He is a hunk.

He and I talked for hours about our marriages (2 each) and our past and present relationships; we developed a good friendship without any hidden agendas. In 2001, my significant other had died while out running, followed shortly by my mother’s death and then the catastrophe of the World Trade Center unfolded two miles south of my hospital. I was still emerging from the fog. He had been involved with a married woman for many years (hereafter known as the Girlfriend) and had recently broken up with her, again. He described the relationship as an Unstable Configuration. (Lowell is a physicist; sometimes he talks like that. My dearly departed was a physicist – I understand the language.) We clearly were both out to test to social waters again. After spending a week together, I concluded that he was one of the sweetest, kindest, and most confused men I had ever met and would not go near him with a ten foot pole.

After the tour we both went on Match.com to spread our social nets a little farther a field. He met and dated a woman for 3-4 months during the winter. I had a trip planned to visit the fabled town of Monument but cancelled it in deference to the Romance. It was over by March when we both traveled to Death Valley to do a Century. It was my first and his umpteenth. For both of us, these long distance rides are therapeutic. There is lots of time to think about your life, your gripes and what is important to you. He admitted having learned a lot from the Match experience about what he wanted for his future; perhaps it was time to settle in again with one woman for the long haul. After Death Valley our correspondence dwindled; it was clear he was firing up the ovens again with the Girlfriend and I wanted to stay clear of the heat. On several occasions I told him that his life was too complex for me. Being an Aries and a Hungarian, I have no trouble giving advice. “Make it or break it” I said - work it out! Get professional help!

We had talked about doing the GRAABWR in Wisconsin together in June but I felt the daily distances and pace would be too much for me. Lowell registered and drove up from Colorado to do the tour. I called him twice during the tour but could only leave messages. When he was on his way back to Colorado he called me and it was clear he was in emotional shambles. While he was away, the Girlfriend had gone out with another man and was, to coin a phrase, “swept away“”. The Unstable Configuration was wildly out of control.

He was totally blown out of the water by this turn of events and the manner of its delivery. What was most disturbing to me was that he was not angry! That really puzzled me as all the elements for a real Grade 5 rant were there. I guessed he was still reeling and that the anger would come.

We had made plans to do a Century in late August in Grand Junction.

One Sunday as I was watering the tomatoes, he called and he was clearly very low. Could I come sooner? Much sooner? Never one to let my job, or other responsibilities spoil my fun, I flew out to Colorado on 3 days notice for an “Emotional Rescue” (one of my favorite, lesser know Rolling Stones songs). At last I would see the fabled Monument and meet the many people who populate this website and are an important part of Lowell’s life.

It took two days for me to recover from the effects of the altitude (Monument is about 6,000 feet higher than where I live), and on Saturday morning I was fully of energy and took off on the Santa Fe trail while he did his morning sprints. Riding along the Front Range, down past the Air Force Academy I could see why he loved this place so much. Wide open spaces, little traffic, clean air and some fantastic scenery.

One night Mike, Lisa, Lowell and I knocked down 3 bottles of champagne and several bottles of wine and analyzed the situation. Mike presented us with a diagram of the Unstable Configuration; it was brilliant and gave us all a lot of insight into the forces at play. I was in the diagram, too, which was a surprise as I didn’t know I was a player. I was the wild card.

I had not planned to do the Shoreline West tour this year but ten days later, on very short notice, I packed up the bike and flew to MI to do the 4 day section of the Tour. Lowell and his friend, Curt, were already there.

From the outset, it was apparent that this would be a very different experience. When I arrived in Traverse City it was 91 degrees and very sticky. In 2004 the weather was perfect. Lowell and Curt were setting up their tents and looking a bit wrung out. Curt had been in a serious auto accident five days before the ride started and was toughing it out. Once on the bike he did OK but any other motor activity was painful and slow. And yet there he was, setting up and sleeping in a tent, and cycling long miles in the heat. Oh baby, is that dedication! I did a beer run and that helped us all cool down. Another rider who was setting up his tent nearby cast a hungry look at the dew dripping off my bottle and I waved him over to share. He was eternally grateful. I handed Lowell my new Blackberry and he added his email accounts so that he could reconnect with the world. He could also figure out how the thing worked and pass that information along to me. It provided a diversion from his woes.

Day 4 was a rest day for the whole Tour; we didn’t have one last year. It was terribly hot and Curt and I passed on doing an 18 mile ride down the peninsula to a lighthouse. Oddly enough, Lowell opted to stay with us. That was a sure sign to me that although the Emotional Rescue might have helped temporarily he was still in deep trouble.

We did a little shopping and then got into my air conditioned rental car and drove down the peninsula. On the way back we stopped at a lovely beach, went swimming, played Scrabble and talked. (Scrabble on Beach) Curt and I both agreed that when a Romance breaks up, you must write the Epilogue together. What went wrong, how did it go wrong? What can you to ensure it doesn’t happen again? You need resolution to go on with your life. Lowell didn’t have that and it had him all stoppered up. The anger was still in there stewing away.

Day 5: Fortunately, that night the heat wave broke and the next day dawned cool and stormy. Thunderstorms were passing through and we were on notice for lightning. The three of us cycled together which was a pleasant surprise because Lowell and I usually separate and ride at our own paces. We were both keeping an eye on Curt. The first front announced itself with a few innocuous rain drops but we dashed for shelter to a small country store with a porch. Pelting rain and lightning were right behind us. After it passed we rode on. A bit later while out on a sparsely populated country road, the second wave was approaching. I was looking around for shelter when the first boomer hit; we had just passed a house with a lot of cars parked out front and a big open garage door. I called Lowell back and he quickly got permission from the lady of the house; we made it into the garage just as a terrific bolt of lightning sizzled nearby. Eventually the weather cleared and we arrived in Bellaire safe and sound and set up the tents. He was still as unsettled as the weather but managed to be his warm and affectionate self. We had been talking and running scenarios the whole day about the Unstable Configuration. Although it was clear that I was emotionally involved, it had become an intellectual exercise. Something had to give; he was still on an emotional roller coaster.

Day 6: Curt set out early and we would catch up with him, probably in Charlevoix. It was a gorgeous day but it was clear Lowell was having a bad one as he was riding behind me at about 9-10 mph with his head down and shoulders slumped. We met up with Curt and had a brief lunch on the hill overlooking a magnificent bay. Lowell got a sandwich; I stuck to my all carb diet and downed a huge gelato. We rode on and came to what I call the Seven Hills of Rome – seven huge rollers. My cycling was a whole lot better than last year –Lowell estimated a 50% improvement. I had ridden all winter and worked out and did Death Valley in March. I am not yet killing the hills, but they are no longer killing me. Prior to this ride, I had “worked out” on a boogie board on the lake where I live kicking my way out and back to a small island. It really paid off. Furthermore, I cheat on hills. If there is any downhill approach, I tuck in and rocket down pedaling like crazy. Having a very light bike, the momentum can carry me far up the next hill, sometimes to the top. It worked on the first two but I should have stopped and rested for # 3. It was a big one and I made it about half way up before stopping for a rest. Lowell eats hills so he had gone ahead and would wait. His depression was eating at me. I had to think up something fast. At my urging, he had made an appointment with a therapist so that was set. Maybe a phone “consult” would help. Two hills later, he was waiting at the top.

Halfway up, I pulled into a driveway and waved him to come down to me. We had to talk, right now! “Call him now” , I urged, “and arrange a phone consult”. No, he couldn’t do that; it had to be face-to-face. He had been running conversations with the Girlfriend all day in his head and should write them down. Do it! I said. Write them down and send it on the Blackberry. Get it out of your head. That hit home! He smiled. The Catharsis had begun. In Camp that night he wrote out a 3 page letter. He asked me one question, “How do you spell phony?” We located an internet café in town. The local kids call it the Wooly booger – actually it is the Wooly Bugger, and is named after a fishing fly. He sent the letter and was looking better by the minute. We celebrated at an elegant bar – he had a margarita and I a mint julep. In Harbor Springs, they go out to the herb garden and pick the mint fresh! I felt so good!

Day 7: A short day and most of it is on bike trails so it is very easy riding. Just before riding into Mackinaw City we posed on the Beach (Beach and Badass Biker). Curt arranged to leave on the early bus – he had a lot of things to deal with – his health, and his car insurance. It was terrific to have met him and I admired his grit. Lowell and I treated ourselves to a hotel with a Jacuzzi, margaritas and a good dinner. He was relaxed and wondered if he would get a reply from The Catharsis.

Day 8: We took the Ferry over to Mackinac Island and pedaled around once. I went to the Butterfly Museum while Lowell went over the top of the Island, a fairly strenuous ride. We got back to camp just in time to load the bikes on the truck and were able to get on an earlier bus back to Traverse City. His mood was about 50% improved. The cork was out of the bottle.